How to Include Your Family in Your Elopement

When it comes to eloping, most people picture a couple running away to a courthouse and spontaneously tying the knot. And while that can absolutely be the case for some couples, elopements are far more diverse than that nowadays. Eloping for many couples means crafting a day that is 100% authentic to them and what they envision for their nuptials. Couples are now opting to include their closest people in some way, traveling to unique destinations, and even hosting multi-day events. Curious about how to include your family in your elopement while making your day perfectly you? Keep on reading!

Including Your Family in Your Elopement

As a Southern California wedding and elopement photographer, I’ve had the honor of witnessing dozens of couples’ dream weddings come to life. And as a past bride myself, I know just how much planning goes into every little detail – especially when it involves other people. Managing expectations and opinions can be a tricky balance to strike when planning a wedding. 

But for whatever reason, it feels like there are even more expectations to manage when planning an elopement. While eloping isn’t a “new” idea by any means, couples often feel the need to explain or defend their desire to elope — specifically because loved ones may express that they feel left out. While you definitely don’t need to defend your decision to elope, I’m here to tell you that eloping doesn’t have to mean excluding your loved ones. One of the most beautiful things about an elopement is having the freedom to include their loved ones in really unique, intentional ways. 

Pre-Wedding Festivities

One of the easiest ways to include your family in your elopement is by actually including them before you say “I do”! While I’m of the belief that each couple deserves to have the day of their dreams, I also believe in the importance of honoring your family. If you and your honey are heading off an adventure as just the two of you, you can still include your family in the pre-wedding festivities. Just because you’re eloping doesn’t mean you have to skip out on the fun before you tie the knot! Here are some events you might consider including your loved ones in:

• Engagement party
• Wedding dress shopping
• Bridal shower
• Bachelorette party

Strategically Design Your Elopement Timeline 

One of the most unique ways to include your family in your elopement is by designing your elopement timeline with them in mind. I’ve put together a couple timeline examples below to give you a better idea of how to strategically design your elopement timeline.

For some couples, this could look like hosting a multi-day elopement with one day dedicated to family time, and the other dedicated just to one another. My husband and I actually had an elopement weekend and it was perfect for us. Other couples opt for hosting a more ‘traditional’ one-day elopement that divides time in a similar fashion. This option is great for couples who are planning a more ‘low-key’ elopement, and still enjoy certain elements of a traditional wedding. 

Implementing Traditional Elements

Psst: there is no right or wrong way to elope. Whether you are having a ceremony surrounded by family, heading out on an adventure just as a duo, or skillfully designing a day to fit your vision, there are several traditional ways to involve your loved ones. I’ve put together a little list to inspire you in your elopement planning journey:

• Getting Ready — From getting glam with your sister in, to your honey playing darts with his dad in the groom’s den, the getting ready portion of a wedding day is such a special time. So many of my brides have expressed just how invaluable that time with their gals was before walking down the aisle. 
• First Look — If a first look has been pinned on your Pinterest board since you were 13, there’s good news! You can still have a first look during an elopement. First looks are an emotional, sentimental moment that is certain to bring up some happy tears. Share a first look with your closest friends, your dad, or your grandma. Pro tip: don’t forget the tissues!

Including Your Family in Your Elopement Ceremony

• Processional — While bride’s father traditionally walks his daughter down the aisle, this is a great opportunity to add a twist. Include both of your parents, your grandpa, or a sibling. There’s no rules!
• Special Officiant — If a first look is certain to bring up “some” happy tears, having a family member officiate your elopement will have the water works flowing. After all, who knows your love story better than someone who has witnessed it in its entirety?! 
• Marriage License Signing — While certain states allow for self-solemnization (where an officiant isn’t required), marriage licenses still require signatures to make the marriage official! Double check with your state’s requirements to make sure you have all the legalities covered before solidifying your plan. 

Sentimental Moments + Details

One of the most common and thoughtful ways to include your family in your elopement without them actually being present is through planned, intentional moments and sentimental details. From a phone call to reading a little note of encouragement, your family can still be close to you on your happiest day. Here are some ways to include your family without them being physically present:

• FaceTime your loved ones while getting ready for the day. 
• Ask your loved ones to write letters for you and your honey to read together.
• Borrow a piece of jewelry from your mom.
• Sew a scrap of fabric from your dad’s old work shirt into your dress.

Post-Wedding Festivities

Whether eloping is a surprise for your loved ones, or it’s been in the works, you can still celebrate alongside your favorite people! Post-wedding festivities can absolutely still fit with your tastes and desires as a couple. From hosting an intimate dinner to partaking in a more “traditional” wedding reception surrounded by extended family, there’s bound to be something to fit into your vision. Here’s a few ideas:

• Ask your family to host an intimate dinner at your favorite restaurant. Set up a slide show and show off pictures from your adventure! 
• Include your family in putting together a “traditional” wedding reception. Whether you imagine a low-key celebration or one with all the bells and whistles, it’s a great way to gather your loved ones together to celebrate alongside you.
• Host a “movie premiere” where you show your elopement video to your loved ones. Guests can bring their own beverages or can contribute to a potluck. A great way to have a low-key celebration and showcase your sweet elopement.

Southern California Elopement | Laura Burns Photography

At the end of the day, including your family in your elopement is a choice that is completely up to you and your person. Take each comment and opinion regarding your choice to elope with a grain of salt. Elopement planning can be really stressful, but it can also be such a beautiful time to just be present in. Continue to keep your upcoming marriage a priority, and the rest will fall into place. You’ve got this, my friend! 

Searching for Southern California wedding and elopement planning tips? Check out my Southern California wedding planning resources below! And of course, be sure to follow along on the ‘Gram (@lauraburnsphotography) for behind-the-scenes, SoCal love stories, and probably some bird watching. Happy planning!

Southern California Wedding Planning Resources

The Ultimate Wedding Details Checklist
The Ins and Outs of Outdoor Weddings in Southern California
What to Do After You Get Your Wedding Photos Back
How to Plan an Intentional Intimate Wedding