How to Plan an Intentional Intimate Wedding

I’m the first to admit that I love a good wedding trend as much as the next gal. As a Southern California wedding and elopement photographer, I always find myself anticipating what the next year’s “thing” will be. While nobody could’ve predicted what came of 2020, it was a year that absolutely set the tone for the future of weddings. Four years later, couples are still leaning into the intimate wedding “trend” and designing a wedding that is perfectly suited to who they are as a couple. So if you’re curious how to plan an intentional intimate wedding, you’re in the right place! 

Planning an Intentional Intimate Wedding 

Remember Your Why

Let’s be honest: wedding planning is overwhelming. There are tons of wedding planning resources out there, which can especially cause overwhelm, decision paralysis, and procrastination. When I was planning my elopement weekend, it took some trial and error before my husband and I figured out our wedding planning stride. Our biggest takeaway was to start off on the right foot. While the entire “point” of your wedding is to celebrate that you get to marry your person, it’s important to keep that in mind throughout each part of the planning process. Maybe you had initially planned on having a private elopement, but you realized how much you wanted to be surrounded by your closest people. So when the overwhelm creeps in 3 months from now, remind yourself of that why. When you’re thrifting for dinnerware or welcome gifts, remember that why. 

Non-Negotiables for the “I Do’s”

Once you have your intentions set, sit down with your partner and individually making a list of your “non-negotiables”. Pro tip: this step is best enjoyed over some wine and take-out. Some examples of non-negotiables would be: including your siblings, having your best friend officiate, late night pizza, or a bumpin’ dance floor. When you and your partner have your individual lists, take some time to compare and combine the lists. I highly recommend keeping this list on hand throughout the wedding planning process to ensure that your vision is still coming to life (and to ensure you still have the necessary budget to include certain must-haves). 

When Josh and I were putting together our own non-negotiables lists, we both really valued including our families in different ways throughout our elopement weekend. Josh wanted his childhood pastor to officiate our ceremony, and I could not let go of a dance floor. It felt like a no-brainer to make our elopement into a 2 day adventure so that we could still help our vision come to life. Once we had our intentions and non-negotiables in check, we were able to start envisioning the bigger parts of our day — which brings me to the next tip for planning an intentional intimate wedding.

Infuse Your Personalities

Many couples struggle to add personality to their wedding day. And hear me out: it makes sense! Often times, couples feel limited to only adding their personalities with the food or invitations. But it’s so much more than that! There is potential and value behind leaning into the importance of your wedding location, the date, details, activities, and vendors. Like I mentioned, my husband and I really valued including our family in our wedding. And while we chose to include them by being physically present, there are other options on how to include your family in your intimate wedding. Keep your eyes peeled for a whole blog on including your family in your intimate wedding; be sure to follow @lauraburnsphotography on Instagram to be first to know when that blog is live!

Location

Your wedding location is such a beautiful opportunity to tie in some sentimental, personal elements of yourselves. My husband and I got married in one of our favorite places in the world! If it’s an option for you and your partner to do the same, and it feels right, I couldn’t recommend it more. Whether you choose a place that is close to home or a sweet destination to revisit for years to come, choosing a sentimental location is a special way to add intention to your wedding day.

Details

The wedding details you select are also such an easy way to infuse your personalities in an impactful way. I have a whole blog dedicated to selecting your wedding details, but it can be as simple as wearing a necklace from your grandma. Or, your details can be as intricate as having a patch from your dad’s shirt sewn into your wedding dress. The options are truly endless when choosing your details. If you’re searching for some inspo, check out The Ultimate Wedding Details Checklist. 

Ceremony

While I didn’t get to around to including this next part in my wedding, it was something I really wanted to include – I might just have to for a vow renewal someday! I love the Princess Bride movie and always wanted to include: “Mawwage… mawwage is what bwings us togetha, todayyyy”… but alas. Your wedding ceremony is a beautiful opportunity to tell your love story in whatever way feels right for you as a couple. Consider a unique unity ceremony, personal vows, music, or even how you decorate the space. 

Don’t Be Afraid to Do Something Different

You’ve probably heard this at least a dozen other times, but your wedding day is one of the only chances you get to be surrounded by all of your favorite people. When Josh and I really let that sink in, we started to lean into having an elopement weekend. Day One was dedicated to just a few close people and spending quality time as newlyweds. Day Two was dedicated to the party and making memories with our loved ones. Although it wasn’t the most conventional way to have a wedding, we wouldn’t have changed a thing!

If a wedding weekend doesn’t feel right, there are endless options to put your own little spin on things. Maybe you’ve always dreamt of having a slow morning with your honey before getting ready – do it! Or maybe you love the idea of flower girls, but your aunties have such a special place in your heart – give them the job! Other creative ways to infuse your personalities would be:

• Thrift what you can! From unique tableware, linens, frames, and more! Thrifted finds are such a fun way to spice up a space (on a budget, too!).
• Place your wedding party oppositely; have the bridesmaids stand behind the groom, and the groomsmen behind the bride! 
• Having an outdoor wedding in a cooler climate? Place handmade quilts or blankets (made by loved ones) on chairs to keep your guests warm. 
• Have guests pick flowers for your ceremony or reception spaces.
• Not big “cake people”?! Soft serve ice cream, it is!

Southern California Wedding Photographer | Laura Burns Photography

It’s easy to become overwhelmed with planning a wedding, let alone planning an intentional wedding. The potential to do “whatever you want” leaves everything up in the air. But by sitting down with your partner to solidify your “why” and non-negotiables, it will truly come naturally. I want to encourage you to utilize Pinterest, wedding planning blogs, and even Instagram for inspiration. But now that you have the basics on “how to plan an intentional intimate wedding” down, all that’s left to do is get planning and marry your person. 

Are you planning a 2025 wedding and still on the search for your photographer who is a friend first, vendor second? Whether you’re planning a Southern California elopement, or dreaming of an intimate destination wedding in Cancun, let’s connect! Laura Burns Photography — serving the dreamers and romantics.